the gloom over campus

As I walked from class to class this morning I couldn’t help but to notice an unfamiliar mood among other students. The steady downpour of rain helped illustrate the gloom over campus that wasn’t caused by the weather. Everyone hid under their umbrellas, darted to class, and refrained from speaking in my economics class. I used to only worry about waking up on time for my 8 am class or finding a parking place but this morning was different. Those videos on CNN gave me goose bumps and made all my muscles cringe. Aaryn, Kari, and I were so disturbed by the creep, the assassin at Virginia Tech, we had to watch the news together and tell ourselves that we live in a safe place. At the same time we had the thoughts of the MSU students who had murdered innocent people over the summer, and the 160 girls that are raped at MSU each year. Aaryn spent all day yesterday laying down footprints that represented the victims of sexual violence at MSU and it made me wonder why we have to be so afraid about coming to school. In college we choose to come to class, unlike high school where it is forced routine, I just didn’t expect this kind of brutality from an adult that is supposedly going to school in order to create a better future. No one is making anyone go to college, we make that choice ourselves, and the best part about life is the option to change your mind. This whole situation just baffles me I guess. I also thought people were coming to Montana because they felt a sense of security among the residents. It turns out that we too have a history of violence among MSU students. It just worries me that in a seemingly harmless community such brutality occurred a few days ago. This is a response to a discussion we had in my English class today but I thought I needed to send it to my friends and family as well. I just wanted to let everyone know that most of us are truly scared now. I had numerous missed calls from my parents and sister by five that afternoon, even though the massacre took place hundreds of miles away, it hit close to home. My mom was worried about my safety and wanted to make sure I was okay. I can only imagine the kinds of images she was replaying in her head the three times I didn’t answer her calls. I guess this whole incident just reiterates how imperative it is to be aware of our surroundings, and also let the people close to us that we care about them.